Binay to become president as Aquino mulls resignation

This just in: Vice President Jejomar Binay is about to become president as President Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino mulls resignation from the post.

Being a member of a select group of political bloggers that the Palace truly trusted, this author received a call straight from the garage in MalacaƱang.

The unreliable source said that PNoy is giving Binay, a family friend of the Aquinos, the chance to hold the highest position in the land before the end of their terms on June 30 and prior to the 2016 presidential election where the Vice President has been predicted to lose.

Aquino initially thought of appointing former DILG Secretary and now presidential candidate Mar Roxas to the position, but changed his mind after reading the comic book titled "Sa Gitna Ang Ungas," said the source whose name could easily be forgotten.

Apparently, the President got dismayed because he wanted the superhero story to be similar to that of Batman and Robin. He likes Batman and hates Superman as there are memes featuring Roxas' rival, Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, as the Man of Steel with an iron fist.

Aquino might resign on April 31, said the unreliable source who wanted to greet everyone a Happy April Fools Day.